Say what you mean, and mean what you say. I say it over and over again in working with couples struggling to connect. One of the challenges that they need to overcome is this innate tendency to not truly say what they mean and to not mean what they say. Think about it. Today is sandwiched in between Black Friday and Cyber Monday (no disrespect meant to Small Business Saturday), pilule and the Christmas shopping season is officially in high gear, but there will still be someone out there who will tell their spouse, “Oh, you do not need to buy me anything for Christmas this year.” They will say it, but they will be lying through their teeth.

Lying may be a strong word, but it is the best way to describe it. Truth be told, the person they are lying to most is themselves. Perhaps they fear being disappointed, they feel that if they do not ask for anything then they will not be disappointed when the 25^th of December rolls around and there are no packages with their name on it from that special loved one. Continue reading →