The Elephant in the Marriage

All too many married couples strive to find their “happily ever after” and instead are left struggling just to survive marriage because they are unaware of how their incomplete and inaccurate perspectives form faulty perceptions that they hold to more tightly than truth and reality. The Elephant in the Marriage opens couples’ eyes to this destructive cycle, equip them with strategies to establish healthier relationship patterns, and teach them how to leverage accurate perceptions to enjoy a thriving marriage relationship.

The Elephant in the Marriage is now available online, or ask for it wherever books are sold.

Continue reading “The Elephant in the Marriage”

Two Questions

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If you are happy, then you have nothing to worry about.

If you are unhappy, there are two simple questions you need to ask yourself; will you be happy or will you stay unhappy?

If you’ll be happy, then you have nothing to worry about.

If you’ll still be unhappy, there are two simple questions you need to ask yourself; are you healthy or sick?

If you are healthy, then you have nothing to worry about.

If you are sick, there are two simple questions you need to ask yourself; will you get better or not?

If you’ll get better, then you have nothing to worry about

If not, then you have two simple questions you need to ask yourself; will you live or die?

If you’ll live, then you have nothing to worry about.

If you’ll die, you have two simple questions you need to ask yourself; will you go to heaven or will you go to hell?

If you’ll go to heaven, then you have nothing to worry about…

 

It sorts of puts it all into perspective, doesn’t it? There are a lot of things to worry about in life, but only a few things that truly matter. Continue reading “Two Questions”

Did not understand

Quick thought for today. When Jesus fed the 5,000 in Mark 6, the disciples had a front row seat. They saw some pretty amazing things in their day, and this had to be atop the list. Problem is, they didn’t get it. They did not understand what was going on. From their limited perspective they could not see or comprehend who Jesus truly was (at least not yet) and it effected their hearts.

A few verses later we see Jesus walking on the lake–perhaps a new “top of the list” miracle for them to not understand. Scripture records that they were completely amazed (6:51), but pay careful attention to what they very next verse reveals. “..[T]hey had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened. (6:52, NIV)” The lack of understanding impacts our hearts.

We need to constantly guard our hearts, and sometime what we need to guard them most from is our own lack of understanding. A bigger and more accurate perspective can be a great way to do some heart surgery. So try listening more, seeing things from your spouse’s perspective, and realizing that there may be more to what you see than what your perceptions are telling you.

What do you need to change in the new year?

Happy New Year. As the Christmas season settles down we quickly turn our attention to the end of the year “best of” lists and begin thinking about what the new year holds. As one year gives way to the next it is all too easy to make simple comparisons and even begin to become anxious about the changes that may come with the new year.

We can even become nostalgic longing for the better days we remember from our past. Although the hope contained in the promise of a new year can, for some, contain limitless possibilities, yesterday had some comforts that tomorrow just can’t hold a candle to. Continue reading “What do you need to change in the new year?”

I believe Jesus can…turn your world upside down to put things in place.

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Although that may hold true for two-dimensional objects, life has taught many of us that you can’t always get where you are going by following a straight line. As we look through the stories in the Bible we find that very rarely do any of the stories in both the Old and New Testament include any straight lines. Sometimes the detours and chaos that ensue are due to sin, disobedience, or the lack of faith—think the Israelites wandering in the wilderness for 40 years for a trip they should have been able to complete in under 40 days— and sometimes there seems to be no easy explanation on why things had to turn out the way that they did. Continue reading “I believe Jesus can…turn your world upside down to put things in place.”

Didn’t See Him

Most of us have a routine in the morning, mine begins with waking up at 5:30, spending time with God, and ends with me grabbing a dress shirt on my way out the door around 8:15. There are a lot of variables in between the alarm clock and me reaching for my car keys, the biggest of which is when our three kids decide to wake up. Continue reading “Didn’t See Him”

CAUTION, What you can’t see may hurt you

Family vacations are great. I have met people who dread family vacations as they go on about the driving, the lines for the attractions, and being cramped with the family for an extended period of time. For me, the driving time is just quality time, and we get along remarkably well as a family and genuinely enjoy being together regardless of how much space we have. As far as those lines are concerned, we don’t like them either and intentionally travel at times where we can anticipate shorter lines. Continue reading “CAUTION, What you can’t see may hurt you”

Do You See What I See?

“Do you see what I see?” Isn’t it amazing how often we can be standing right next to someone, looking in the same direction, and see the same thing so differently. Henry David Thoreau​ famously quipped, “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

We can be absolutely convinced that we know what we are looking at, but unaware of just how little we see. If there is a point of friction between you and a friend or a loved one, try looking at the issue from their perspective and be open to seeing what they see. You just might be surprised and strengthen a relationship in the process. Continue reading “Do You See What I See?”

It all starts with perspective

Our perspectives are the objective, buy rational observations of objects or events. Our perspectives are the literal point of view from where we are standing. Our perceptions are the subjective interpretation of those observations. Our perspectives inform our perceptions and it is our perceptions that focus on emotionally connecting the dots of what we saw and subjectively formulating what it means to us. If our perspective is not providing us with correct or helpful information, order then naturally our perception will be biased and impaired. Continue reading “It all starts with perspective”